An early description of a giant squid, reimagined as a monster

What follows is the text of a pamphlet published in 1674, probably in London. It is usually called “A Full and True Account of the Strange Monster: or, Wonderful Fish Lately taken in Ireland.” but because I love how different this is to the modern day, indulge my quotation of the full title

A true and perfect account of the miraculous sea-monster, or, Wonderful fish lately taken in Ireland bigger than ox, yet without legs, bones, fins, or scales, with two heads, and ten horns of 10 or 11 foot long, on eight of which horns there grew knobs about the bigness of a cloak-button, in shape like crowns or coronets, to the number of 100 on each horn, which were all to open, and had rows of teeth within them … : together with the manner how it first appeared and was taken at a place called Dingel Ichough … / faithfully communicated by an eye witness.

And, now, to the contents. Stats coming when I catch up on the backlog.

Whereas several rumours and various reports have been spread abroad in discourse, concerning the strange fish lately taken in Ireland,

We having a very perfect and faithful account and description thereof, sent us sometime since in a letter from a credible person that was an eye-witness of that monstrous sight, have thought fit, for unveiling report from the disguises of fiction, and preventing the obtrusion of [damaged text] imperfect relations on the too oft abused World, to present the same plainly and truly to public view, as a thing real and deservedly Admirable.

On the third of October last past, at a place called Dingel Ichough, in the County of [damaged text] in the west of Ireland, one James Steward riding by the sea-side, as the tide was coming in, perceived at a distance something of a strange bigness to make towards the shore: at first he apprehended it might be some horse that might have been caught away with the violence of the tide, and having recovered himself was now swimming to land, but approaching nearer on a closer view, he was infinitely surprised & amazed, not so much at the bigness (which yet he found to exceed that of a horse which he first took it for in the body) as at the uncouth shape, and a number of strange Horns of great length, which rendered it not a little terrible to behold: Insomuch that he durst not go nearer to it, least it should destroy both him and his horse, wherefore riding off, he went immediately to one Tompson that dwelt hard by on the beach, and acquainting him with this strange adventure desired his aid, and that he would bring ropes and handspikes with him, and what other help he could procure, but there being none at that time at home but himself and his wife, they could not get any other assistance; However they two went down with him to the place, where the man and his wife were both almost astonished at the sight of this strange monster, and the woman especially so far frighted that she would by no means permit her husband should go near or meddle with it, yet Steward the first discoverer, boldly adventured to ride up pretty near it, and at last to touch it with a rope, and found it made no resistance, but lay stranded on the ground, and wanted water to carry it off.

Upon this Tompson and his wife, seeing it so peaceable and inoffensive, grew courageous and came near to assist the other man, and by their joint labour they got their ropes so about it as they tumbled it over and were able to hale it further on shore; during all which time it made no resistance, but when they went to lay hold on the Horns, they found thereon shells like coronets with teeth within them which got hold of their hands and fingers, so that they were glad to let them go. And the night coming on, they were forced for that time to leave it, having dragged it quite upon dry land.

Early next morning they return with more company, whom the noise of this rare Accident soon drew together. But at their coming find the monster quite dead, and now had time to view, and not without wonder, consider it’s wonderful and prodigious shape, which they found as follows.

The length of this sea-wonder, horns and all, was full nineteen foot, and in bulk or bigness of body some∣what larger then a horse. It had two heads, the largest of which joining immediately to the body, had no perfect distinct shape; but like a vast lump, wherein nothing plainly appeared but two eyes of an oval form and of extraordinary bigness, this great head carried the horns, ten in number, of which the two longest were situated in the middle, and were smooth; the other eight, viz. four on each side were all wreathed or crooked, and upon them there grew curious shells (as it were) of the bigness of a large clock button, but in form and shape like crowns or coronets, two and two together and over against each other, to the number of one hundred in all on each horn; on the top of e∣very one of these buttons or coronets, was the resemblance of a pearl which was to open and shut as a little mouth, and had within it a row of teeth, so that it should seem (beside the mouth of the little head which we shall describe by and by) this monster received nourishment for its body at eight hundred several places, for to that number or thereabouts did the crowns on all the eight horns amount: besides, it had a natural power to contract or draw in these horns into it’s head, (as a snail does) and extend them a∣gain at pleasure.

but when it was dead they all stood out at their full length, some of them being eight or ten foot long, and the two longest which were of equal size and length eleven foot.

Between these two smooth longest horns, and in the middle of all the rest, grew up from the great head, the little or smaller head, at about three or four foot distance; this was in shape much like the head of a hawk, looking upward, and had a strange mouth, and two tongues in it, and here too, no doubt it did take in much of its nourishment.

The body it self, besides the horns, was about eight or nine foot long, it was altogether smooth without scales, fins, or legs, and all over of a flesh-colour, save only a large fleshy skin like a mantle, which was fast to the back, but hung down loose on both sides with a fringe round at bottom; and this was of bright red or the out-side, and perfect white within: This mantle was generally supposed to be its chief support in swimming, for it had not one bone in or about, nor any tail, but towards the lower end it grew sharp like a wedge.

In brief, every thing in the said Monster was wonderful; the Liver being taken out, is credibly reported to have weighed thirty pounds; for experiment the people boiled some of the flesh, but the longer it boiled, the harder it became; it gave a very good scent as it boil∣ed, and seemed fat, but in boiling the fat hardened, and no creature (though several at divers times were tried) would eat a bit of it, or so much as taste of it.

A true draught of this rare animal, together with one of its heads, and two of its horns, was carried to Dublin, the 16 of December last; and presented to several persons of honour, since which time there is leave granted by authority for the public shewing thereof; both in Dublin, and other places.

We might now divert the reader a little, and tell him, that some zealots hearing of a strange creature with several heads, ten horns, and more then triple crowns, took it for the Apocaliptical Beast, and fancied the Pope was landed in Person; But—Non bonum est Ludere cum Sanctis, we dare not profane a Text for a jest, nor play the fool with thunderbolts, and hope none will be so impertinently vain, as to place every strange production in nature to be account of prodigies, since, if we consider how large a share the sea makes of this inferior globe, and that Nature is ever active and wonderfully fruitful, we may not irrationally conclude, or at least suspect the ocean to be inhabited with as many several species of creatures, as the earth; and that the vast wilderness of waters contains as many monsters, and altogether as strange ones, as any in the deserts of Africa.

Story hooks

The creature is apparently not dead when first found, as it attempts to grapple the fingers of the people who are dragging it ashore. A magus with sufficient skill could create a pool that both imprisons and restores the creature. A healthy squid might be taken as a familiar.

Magi can only create things which they can “name” in the sense of making them a target. A character who does not know a squid exists cannot make a squid. The creature can be used as a template to create other creatures of the same type. Further, with the right ritual, it can be used to create a version of the squid with magical powers, like flight, breathing air, and so on.

The parts of the creature’s body may serve as forms for enchantment, or as materials for alchemy. Similarly, the parts of the creature’s body could provide the equivalent of the cloak of feathers or wolfskin pelt used to transform into an animal.

The zealots see this as a demon: this makes them easy to influence.

What killed this creature, and why?

Eight hundred and one mouths? What does it naturally eat, and how, and why?

The animals of the sea are the mirrors of those on the land, according to medieval philosophy. What’s the squid the mirror to?

A Verditus wishes to build a submersible, and hears of the squid. He wishes to use biomimicry, to make his design more efficient. Can you find him another squid?

Is the creature social? Where are the others? Do they, like some octopuses, build communal lairs, which we might call cities? Do they use tools?